15 or less jokes to make you happy (I hope)

1. What do you do with a dead chemist …. You Barium.
2. What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull? – Lipstick!
3. A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables…the bartender says, buddy, I’ll serve you as long as you don’t start anything.
4. Two cows are sitting in a field, and one says to the other, “so, how about that mad cow disease? Scary stuff, right?” To which to other replies, “terrifying. But what do I care? I’m a helicopter.”
5. How does Jesus make tea???? Hebrews it.
6. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino!
7. What did the farmer say when he couldn’t find his tractor? “Where’s my Tractor?!”
8. Have you heard about the duck that was arrested for dealing? He was selling “quack”.
9. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
10. How do you catch a unique rabbit? You ‘neek’ up on it.
11. How do you catch a tame rabbit? The ‘tame’ way.
12. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!
13. *While waving your hands on either side of the other person’s head* “running through the woods, running through the woods, running through the woods. Close our eyes!” *smack person on forehead* “TREE! Never close your eyes when you’re running through the woods!”
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippa. Hippa who? I’m sorry, I’can’t tell you that.
15. Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says “gosh, it’s hot in here”. The other muffin screams “AAAH!! A talking muffin!”