Whenever, there is fight with wife - Than it feels like I should suicide..
But.. I stop myself by thinking - There are very less tigers in the world..
There is two kinds of suicide..
One is take a rope and hand on fa..Second have marriage and hand on whole l
When you do lot of sins and stock is full of sins....than...
than.. he gets married..)
Shelly: Why it is feel like husband and kite seems alike..
Aliza: Why?
Shelly: Because, both are kept loose, flies here and there!
Tell us the name of the woman who 100% knows where her husband is?
.....thinking...
Ans is: A widow woman
Dr: Your one kidney has failed..
Man: First cried a lot than stopped and asked.... failed.....from how many numbers???
After exercise I always eat pizza, Just kidding.. I don't Exercise!!
No matters, how good work, noble cause you do... people always remember those who dies after borrowing some dollars!!
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."
All men are brave,
Horrors movies don't scare them...
But.....
10 missed calls from wife-----surely does!
Those 8 seconds really become so longer when you wait for "Skip" option button on video sharing site!
What did the cockroach say to the man who wanted to squash it?
You are just jealous of me. The reason being - I make your spouse scream louder than you!
Man: Why are beating your son in law so badly?
He replies: I sent hi message that you have become father but he forwarded this message to his friends!
Boy messages text his Girl "Honey, I can't live without you! When you come to me?"Here is the KILLING Reply -"Who is dying! I lost my saved numbers, kindly tell me your name?"
I thing..Fear Factor would have been much scarier if it had just been people in their twenties trying to figure out how to have careers!
Photographer: My secret of success is? 'Think negative'!
Make no mistakes. The junior is your biggest prospect!
Wife: If I would have been married to a Monster, I would have been felt much better than with you...
Man: But marriages are not allowed in same blood relation!!
I have already acted on your memo on saving power in my department by an immediate ban on employee empowerment!
customer: sorry but i asked cheese without holes
waiter: well then, eat the cheese and leave the holes
by- elshaday
My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said that at the end of this ruler is a dumb. I got a detention after asking which end!
It is better to be late than to arrive ugly!
How Bedroom smells after marriages:
First 3 months - Perfumes and Flowers!
After 12 months - Baby Powder, Cream, diapers and Lotions!
After 7 Years - Balms, Move and pain killers..
Why do she make weird faces in pictures? Because it's better to look ugly on purpose.
Description: Here we poke fun at the people who pretend to be over-smart. Some people think that they are very genius that we can not smell what's happening in their mind. But they catch her. I know she is not beautiful so that is why she makes crazy faces in pictures. After reading 'ugly on purpose' statement, no-one can control their laughter.
When will Persian cats begin to join the armed forces?
When you cut their furlough.
submitted by Julia Gandrud
If Olive Oil is made from Olives and Vegetable oils from Vegetables, then what is Baby oil made from???
submitted by Naveen Khanna
Him: I kiss my Wife everyday before I leave for Office, what about you?
Me : Me too, after you leave!!
What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.
The doctor comes out into the waiting room for the next patient. He's shocked to see a man sitting there with a frog growing out of his head. The doctor's cries, "Oh my god, how did that happen?"
The frog answered "I don't know; it began as a pimple on my but-t."
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